I would now like to take a moment for a short listing of various things in mi vida colombiana:
Things I see pretty much daily:
Colombian women who have made horrible decisions: Yes this sounds kind of harsh, but i'm not joking. The most common bad decisions are hair color. Why would one zebra stripe their hair? Stripe? yes, stripe literally. horrible horrible decision. Highlights in dark hair turn out to look like zebra stripes. Another one, going blonde!? really, first off when dark haired people go blonde it turns out a weird yellow/orange color and second why would you get rid of your beautiful shiny black hair? On that note i should probably include that the woman i am living with wears a wig when she goes out. At first I was like wow her hair looks really different when its styled, then i saw her pull at it once and all her hair moved, then i saw it sitting in the other room. Other bad decisions include the amount of makeup they wear, tattoos, the men they date and plastic surgery which brings me to item 2.
Butt implants: I think I mentioned before that Colombia is the capital of plastic surgery. In Ecuador there was a lot of nose jobs as people tried to get rid of the "indigenous nose" to look more European/white. Here you see everything, butt implants being my personal favorite. Can you imagine what it would feel like to sit on silicon balloons all day? I cannot, not to mention it looks ridiculous. At lunch yesterday my host woman says nonchalantly "Well another woman died in El Poblado yesterday during lipo" (El Poblado is the ritzy rich people neighborhood). I choked on my food when she said that.
Used dime bags: Every day as I walk to my bus stop I find new litter scattered on the street.. candy wrappers, cigarette butts and dime bags with a little white powder remaining in the corners. The first time I saw this I was like "woooahh someone had a crazy night!" Then a few feet later I saw another, and another. Then I said to myself "ok, only in Colombia I guess". Continuing on this topic...
Drug deals at my bus stop: The other day I was walking up to my bus stop and there was an older man sitting there with a wad of cash just blowing in the wind. I thought to myself "dude you are crazy, don't dar papaya like that" (dar papaya means putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of). Seconds later a VERY young boy on a motorcycle pulls up with a smile on his face. Before the man even gets to him, he pulls a little dime bag out of his pants hands it to the man, the man hands him the money and walks back into la biblioteca (where he works) and the young boy zooms off. I stood there kind of shocked for a second and then repeated the phrase from before "only in Colombia..". I was told before I came that cocaine usage is looked down upon because it has rampaged their country so much. However, this does not mean that it is uncommon and they say its cheaper to buy than alcohol.
Motorcycles and motorcycle crashes: I would venture to guess that 75% of people in Medellín own and drive motorcycles. I have become accustomed to dumb-asses riding around in circles outside my window on their stupid motorcycles or trying to get them to start at all hours of the day. Those of you who know me well know that the sound of motorcycle engines makes me want to kill someone. Furthermore, everyone drives them. Its common to see women in stiletto heels driving around on motorcycles weaving through traffic, which brings me to the second part of this observation. People are idiots on motorcycles (plus they barely wear protection) and I see a motorcycle accident pretty much everyday or almost get killed by one on campus. I'm really not a fan.
Men teaching their children to be machismo: Yes, I know a lot about this topic and its a lot better here in Colombian than other places. But the other day I was crossing the street and this man with his like 10 year old son on the back of his motorcycle honked, whistled and yelled at me, both of them looking back and smiling. Pissed me off.
The most hilarious gym outfits ever!: Pretty much every time I am at the gym a moment arises when I wish I had a camera on my ipod or cellphone so I could document the outfits people put on for the gym. To describe a few: Full piece leotards with open backs (women), speedos and skinny strap tanktops (men), bright colored spandex pants with a matching colored MESH top (women), baseball caps and fanny packs (unisex), spandex pants with tall knee socks... we are in the tropics people!! (women), full blown bike gear for spin class... yea you know those unitard spandex shorts things? with a baseball cap, biking gloves, and yesterday I even saw strap-in biking shoes... FOR SPIN CLASS!
People with braces: I have a feeling orthodontia has just recently come to Colombia because EVERYONE has braces. Taxi drivers, professors, security guards, 25-30 year old men (really quite a bummer since for an American braces= awkward pre-teen or in my case the first 16 years of my life and really takes aways someone's atractiveness). On the streets there are hundreds of places advertising orthodontia without an initial quote or for "súper barata" (cheap) kind of reminds me of the "a new nose in 30 second" advertisements in Ecuador.
Things I've learned in the past month:
Always leave the house with an umbrella (or rain jacket): I have yet to purchase an umbrella and have gotten entirely soaked multiple times because for some reason it decides to start raining the second I leave the gym, or get out of class or get off the bus.
How to Jaywalk like a pro: In California jaywalking is illegal in most cities, like you actually get fined for it. This is not the case in DC or NYC I learned this summer and its especially is not the case in Medellín. In DC and NYC people jaywalk at cross roads, here people sprint across major high ways when there is a small break in the traffic. I'm really good at timing my sprints now.
Shy people cannot be teachers: Good thing I can pretty much be a "one woman show" when I choose to be, I love to talk and I am not shy because a shy timid person would DIE doing what I'm doing. I have become accustomed to basically being an object, to answering all kinds of questions from academic to very personal about my life and basically putting on a show and entertaining the Colombian students. I have been working for three weeks which means I have visited approximately 24 classrooms in which about 75% we had a 2 hour "interview session" with me. I've totally gotten all my answers down too. The one people always judge me most on "Whats your religion?" "Do you pray?" After struggling with this one for a while and being asked rudely "you're not an atheist are you?" Realizing responding with agnostic probably wouldn't fly either I came up with my new answer... "I believe, but I don't belong to an organized religion and I don't go to church". These interview questions have also made me realize how difficult it is to describe my life and my hometown in simple English to people who live completely differently. For one, describing Elk as a 250 population town, but not some weird creepy boondocks town and that there are actually a lot of people and a big community that I interact with is a challenge. My parents occupations, also very difficult cause i can't just spit out lawyer or doctor I have to describe it using words like "water system" "county" "manager" "secretary" "working from home" "pump guy" "wells" etc. Another hard one, "What did you study in University"...... well first of all I didn't go to a University I went to a small liberal arts college... blank stares... I studied Spanish and International Intercultural Studies... more blank stares... First off studying spanish as a career seems very bizarre to them and the words international and intercultural are VERY complicated and they usually can't understand them coming out of my mouth so I write it on the board. Then I have to describe that no its not like international business its more general and "interdisciplinary"... thank you Pitzer.
When a man on the street is going to say something to me: They get a certain look on their face, they do this weird lean in thing and then wait for the perfect moment to make the comment, they almost do it from behind as if they are whispering it into my ear. Super sexy bro I'm definitely flattered...This goes for men in cars/trucks also, they lean up close to the window kind of cock their head strangely and either stare and honk or shout out the window.
I can improvise a four-hour class!: Last saturday I got to campus a little late, just 15 minutes though and that nothing for Colombia. I get to the classroom I'm supposed to be assisting in and my phone starts ringing. I look to see who would be calling me at 8:15 am on a saturday morning and its Edgar my boss. I figure I should probably answer it. I answer it outside and he says "Serena where are you?" I thought "dude I was 15 minutes late how did he know??" I told him I was in Albert's class where I was supposed to be. He preceded to ask me to come downstairs because he had a sort of situation he needed my help with. Turns out a teacher didn't show and his level 3 intensive class was sitting waiting for him. Edgar thrusted their book into my hands and pushed me through the door asking me if I could run the class today. I hadn't showered, my hair smelled like cigarette smoke, I was still half asleep and I had never taught my own class before. But I just started talking and before I knew it 4 hours had gone by and the students LOVED ME. One of them even gave me chocolate afterwards.
Baby talk in spanish makes me want to hurt someone: Whiney baby-talk should be OUTLAWED especially when its a 57 year old woman talking to the 22 year old GRINGA living in her house.
Envigado is the Brooklyn of Medellín and a night that begins or ends in Envigado was or will be a crazy one: As tends to be normal when living in a foreign country your first friends and often your best friends are other foreigners. You are all going through similar experiences and emotions and you can relate on many of the realities of living in a foreign country. We Fulbrights have become good friends or should I say "mates" with two other British ELAs (English Language Assistants) who are here through a program run by the British Council and administered by the same Colombian organization ICETEX that Administers Fulbright grants as well as programs through France, Jamaica and probably other countries. Other than the fabulous Geoff Carter (my favorite Queenie's customer and bar mate at Bridget Dolans) I have very few good British friends, so it has been awesome hanging out with these lads and laughing at the many un-American phrases they say. Both these guys live in Envigado a city separate from Medellín but pretty much still attached. It is apparently what Medellín was like years ago and also the center of Escobar's drug cartel. But it is beautiful, old and bohemian. I spent an afternoon in Parque de Envigado people watching and then had dinner with a friend in the 100 year old house of her adoptive Colombian grandmother, it was such a classic experience. Anyway, our friends live with a large group of other foreigners (Peru, France, Norway, Uganda, Italy...) and their apartments are often quite an international party. I have taken a taxi home in broad daylight from Envigado quite a few times now (in my defense it gets light at 6 am here every day...).
So there you have it a few Colombian observations and lessons ala Serena. I will be sure to write all about my new apartment next week after I move in. I'm so excited! Alex the guy renting the apartment and one of my roommates is awesome. He's so nice and funny and jokes and makes fun of me all the time, luckily I grew up with Charlie Acker as my father, Holly, Lloyd, Alex and Anna as my best friends and Jonas as my sister's boyfriend so I can handle jokes and getting burned on all the time. His girlfriend is super sweet also, they drove me around the other night showing me where to catch the bus, where to buy groceries, where to grab a beer, which store I can order delivery groceries from (awesome!) and where Crepes and Waffles is! The Austrian girl is also very sweet, funny and so European its amazing and the other Colombian girl from Cartagena is beautiful.
I hear great day in Elk was foggy but great as usual and I must say hearing that it was cold and foggy made me feel a little (only a little) better about missing it.
Love love.
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